Carrie is a former student of mine who graduated from Wartburg last year and is now attending Luther Seminary. When she was looking for a Church in the Twin Cities we had several conversations about that process. After starting this blog I asked her to write about the experience so that others could learn from her journey. Thanks so much for sharing this with us Carrie!
Recently, I had the task of finding a new church to hang out in.
I was actually quite excited to go "church shopping." I had been a part of my home congregation since I was born, and I was incredibly active in it. I attended Sunday School, sang in every Children's Choir imaginable, started my own worship band as a teenager, and even led my own worship services there. My home congregation was just that...home.
However, I found that finding a new place to worship with all new people to be both daunting and fun. I was leaving my established role and moving in familiar, yet uncharted territories.
I was lucky in that I found the church that I wanted to be a part of in only three tries.
The first church I attended was a lot like the church in which I grew up. Mostly everyone there was either a child, a young couple with children, or older adults. However, there was one difference between this place and my home church. This congregation was very willing to participate in new things. For example, the pastor there had everyone take a paper puzzle piece. We were then challenged to find the person with the puzzle piece that connected to ours. It was something that would have freaked out everyone at home, but these people must have been used to this kind of thing, because they were totally on board.
Everyone there was very welcoming and warm when they met me. The man whose puzzle piece matched mine was very interested in who I was and why I was there and invited me immediately to the breakfast they were having after the service. He was very excited about having a new person there, and he was great to talk to.
After the service, I talked to the pastor. He was very friendly and also excited about having a visitor. We talked about the congregation and how they are more "suburban," while he felt his personality was more "urban." He said this created an interesting atmosphere, but it opened both him and the congregation up to new worldviews.
While I really enjoyed this service and talking to the pastor, I eventually decided that this church was too much like my home congregation. I wanted something different than what I had always known and grown up in. This decision was a very difficult one to make.
The second church I visited was nothing at all like my home congregation. They were actually a starter church that is connected to a few other congregations in the area. I decided to look at them because I had heard everything there was so different, and I knew I needed change.
And it was different.
Instead of a choir and piano, there was a band and electric guitars. Instead of an altar, there was a stage. Instead of a church building, they gathered in a theater. Red padded seats replaced pews and young people wearing ripped jeans replaced the older adults wearing their Sunday best.
I thought that I may really enjoy this atmosphere, as someone who loves to hang out in old theaters and listen to bands, but this was not the case. I felt increasingly uncomfortable while sitting there. I wanted church, not a concert.
The part that convinced me that this was not where I wanted to worship was the affirmation of baptism that took place that day. A whole family: father, mother, daughter, were confirmed together. I thought it was beautiful that they would all be confirmed together, at the same time. However, they were asked to write testimonies on their faith. This is pretty normal for confirmations, but these particular ones got a bit strange. Some of them included things that I knew to be theological inaccuracies and one of them even mentioned how she knew she was going to be the one to announce the second coming of Christ.
Yeah, it got a bit awkward.
After the service, I talked to the pastor, who was way too interested in who I was. Unlike the previous church, I felt almost like I was being interrogated and pushed into becoming a member. He asked if I would be available to teach and lead their Sunday School program and almost forced me into the role. I never even told him I wanted to join, simply that I was looking for a new church, and he was already asking me to lead a program. Yikes.
A few days after this, I received a card in the mail from him with a gift certificate for a coffee shop near by, so that I could talk to him and a few other members about joining the congregation. I felt too-welcomed, uncomfortable, and pressured.
Very quickly, I moved on to a congregation that I heard about from a friend. They did not meet in a church, but instead, a town hall. I did not know much about this particular church, but I trusted the recommendation, so I went. And quite quickly, I fell in love with the place.
I realized this almost immediately when one of the members greeted me and brought me to their name tags.
"We don't spend money on fancy name tags." Their name tags were strips of masking tape on which you wrote your name with a Sharpie. It was awesome.
We then all gathered in front of an altar made of a folding table and simple table cloth which resided in front of a wooden cross. It was simple and perfect. Instead of traditional piano, a musician sang and played her guitar. Normally, I dislike the presence of this kind of music in worship; I often crave traditional "Amazing Grace," but she plays with such sincerity that it uplifts everyone around her.
It was a very small congregation, only about fifteen people attended, but everyone there participated fully in worship. They all read and sang with such enthusiasm. There was a definite air of quality over quantity.
The sermon was great, and it was not only informative but very intriguing. I spent many hours afterward contemplating it.
After the service, I met with the pastor who was not overly welcoming but very friendly. He told me all about this congregation and how worship was almost secondary to them; it was service that they really enjoyed doing. It was something that I hadn't experienced in other congregations. I also learned this congregation was actually connected to another congregation in the area, which turned out to be much more like my home congregation.
I felt like Goldilocks eating the baby bear's porridge. Everyone there was welcoming, but not too welcoming. It was contemporary but not too contemporary. It was new but not too new.
The members were all very diverse as well: younger people without kids, young families, and older adults all worshiping together and talking to each other. Age lines were so crossed over, they were blurred into nothing.
I finally felt at home. I go between both congregations, one that is very much like my home church and more traditional, and the one that is small but hearty.
Since joining, I have discovered all the great things that this congregation does. They meet for celebratory dinners at Thanksgiving, hold Epiphany feasts and spend plenty of time building and maintaining their community. They also take part in many different service projects like Loaves and Fishes.
It was so gratifying to find a place that I could worship and feel completely at home.
I think the one thing I learned from this experience that I would pass on to congregations is: be sincere. If congregations do not try to recruit so much but be sincere in who they are and what they do, they will be very attractive to young adults. There is no special formula for congregations, but if they are authentic in who they are, there is no denying the effect they may have.
Sincerity is what attracts young adults, not gimmicks, loud guitars, or fancy graphic designs. Sincerity."
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